An intimate and honest look into one couples sex life after prostate cancer and robotic Prostatectomy. You CAN have amazing intercourse with no prostate!!!!!!
We have had so many changes since we last blogged and have really let this blog fall to the side lately. The truth is it became difficult for us to write as we were dealing with some issues of our own navigating the world of our sex life post prostatectomy!
We had some kinks to work through and will address these with a later blog but for now we wanted to update you on our plans for a book!
We are so excited to announce that we were approached about putting our blog into print form so it can be presented to prostate cancer patients and their partners during the beginning stages of their own personal journeys. Problem is, we need your help!!!!!!
We need you. We need your personal stories of where you are and what your concerns are. We have come out the other side now and worked through all the challenges, but we are lucky. Not everyone triumphants, and not every couple succeeds in navigating the ups and downs of this process.
We want to include your stories in our book!!! If you have the courage to share with your name or even if you want to remain anonymous, we want to hear from you!!! Please email us and let us know YOUR story!!! I want to print in your own words where you are and whats in your heart when it comes to this evil disease!
Let us hear from you and please indicate if you want your full name in the book or just first name and last initial or you can choose to keep it all anonymous. Emailing us your story is giving us permission to use it and you will be the first to know when the book is published and given a complimentary copy!!!
Email us at the link below or personally at thereelcouple@gmail.com.
We look so forward to hearing from you and involving you in this journey with us!!!
What do you think of when you see this picture?? A month ago if I had been asked this I would have to express the fear I had over taking CBD oil and the possible risks of failing a drug screen. I would tell you I needed to research it more before putting it into my body.
Now, I want to tell the world about it! I want to tell every prostate cancer survivor and their family all the health benefits it has.
Richard and I started using this product approximately 4 weeks ago. We both had immediate results. My first exposure to CBD was hemp coffee with hemp honey added to it. We had bought the CBD oil and were going to use it later that evening as it is known to relax the user and I didn’t know if it would make us sleepy. 2 hours after drinking the coffee I found myself driving the 30 minutes to work not only singing along to the radio but dancing! DANCING! I was driving and dancing at the same time, singing loudly with not a care in the world.
I was thrilled.
I have battled depression my whole life and have intermittent anxiety. Nothing anyone ever knows about, no real anxiety attacks, but anxiety none the less. Richard has anxiety attacks. This was something that did not start until after his prostatectomy and is a very real and scary thing for him.
The night we first tried the CBD oil all this changed. No more anxiety, my depression was almost immediately relieved. I had no idea, even though I am an RN that there were such amazing mental benefits from the CBD oil!!! I, like most everyone, have seen videos of the people with seizures getting relief, people with Parkinsons getting relief from the tremors, children with autism communicating and learning after using CBD. I had NO IDEA the health benefits it could provide me, a healthy middle aged woman. I have more energy, less depression symptoms, no anxiety, I am happier; I breathe better, my joints don’t ache. I even stopped taking Melatonin to sleep and sleep longer periods with less interruption.
Now the whole point of telling you all this on a prostate cancer blog is simple. Are you ready? Listen up gentlemen……. IT IMPROVES BLOOD FLOW TO YOUR PENIS!!!! I promised to always keep this blog honest and so here goes…. close your ears if you are easily offended.
After prostatectomy it is diffcult if not impossible to get an erection without assistance. Richard was lucky as he was younger and had a huge improvement in this area after healing from surgery BUT assistance is still needed for us as you will read in future blogs. Sometimes this assistance is in the form of a pill, sometimes NOS, sometimes a pump, sometimes a shot of Tri-mix.
Richard has had almost immediate results using the CBD regularly. He (we) began to notice his penis getting hard and throbbing with all the things that use to turn him on. I can be washing dishes and he walks up behind me and HELLO PENIS…. I missed those days! When we are kissing and caressing he is almost immediately hard and this was something that usually required preparation. I am not a doctor, I cannot tell you it will work for you but isn’t it worth trying!!??
He takes 20mg every night before bed and it has improved his stamina, his breathing is better, his libido has increased (Lord knows he did not need this to increase!) He has stopped taking his diabetes medications with regular blood sugars. His blood pressure is normal with no medications and his anxiety attacks have stopped. CBD has been shown to kill cancer cells! Yes, KILL them! Who doesnt want that??? If you could take something that would make you feel better, make your sex life better, improve your marriage and make you feel better mentally, why would you not???!
The CBD oil has truly been a lifesaver for us! I cannot recommend this product enough and I hope anyone reading this will take the initiative to do a solid for you and your partner and order at least one bottle and give it a try. It is worth every penny!!
I know this blog is still not current in date as we are still telling our story from 4 years ago but I was so astounded by the results we experienced I had to take a minute and tell you about it. I hope each of you will try it!!!!!
Her Side: Lonely. Lonely and scared. That’s how I felt.
I spent approximately 6-8 hours sitting alone, either in a waiting room full of people, or in my car or in a bathroom stall; while Richard was in surgery. There were times I was okay in the waiting room distracted by a game on my phone or maybe an email. Other moments the tears would start and I would go Into the bathroom and lock myself in a stall to cry or head to my car to sit and be alone with my thoughts.
There was a designated nurse in the operating room whose job was to call and give me updates every hour on what was progressing. The surgery took a lot longer than normal and as anyone who has a loved one in surgery knows, your thought process begins to get quite morbid the longer the time goes by. I started worrying that he had died or was in the process of dying; maybe they were resuscitating him. Her reports seemed to be coming further apart the closer we got to the designated time the surgery should be ending.
I began to envision what my life would be like without him in it and then the tears would start again.
I finally got a phone call that it had taken a lot longer than normal because of the bilateral nerve sparing procedure and the placement of the drains. They also said his blood pressure had bottomed out a few times. My fears worsened. My imagination had to be far worse than what was actually happening, right?
Finally THE phone call came. Richard was in post-op. I told her to please come and get me as soon as she possibly could so I could be there when he woke up. I told her I had promised and she assured me that they would.
Another two hours passed before I heard another word on his condition. I had no idea what was going on during this time and was absolutely terrified. He wanted to wake up to me, I wanted him to wake up and see me. What was happening?
When I was at my wits end, his urologist appeared and pulled me to the side to tell me the surgery had gone quite well and that he apologized for it taking so long. He said that when they were trying to spare all the nerves (they are tiny hair-like structures that must be peeled off of the prostate using a microscope) sometimes it can be quick and sometimes it takes a long time.
He stated he felt it had been successful. I asked him if he could please take me to my husband that I was afraid he would have been woken up by now as 2 hours have passed and he stated they had already moved him to his room and he had been awake and asking for me for hours.
I dissolved to tears.
What? They had assured both of us that I would be right there when he woke up. Now I was so afraid that he was scared; maybe he was sleeping through it and not even worried about it. After so many hours of waiting I was finally lead upstairs to his hospital room. Upon entering the hallway a nurse met me and said “please tell me you’re his wife he has been asking for you for an hour!”
When I first entered the room his eyes were closed but as soon as he heard my voice he opened them and a single tear escaped. My heart broke. He looked at me and said “thank God you’re here I was afraid you had left me.”
Holding his hand and staring into his eyes I told him how much I loved him and I would never leave him and I was sorry they had not come to get me. As he began to doze back off he told me how much he loved me and thanked me for being his. He held my hand as he slept and I didn’t move.
The first day was uneventful as he slept through most of it battling some pain having a lot of blood in his Foley catheter bag nausea from the morphine Etc. A snowstorm was hitting north Alabama and by the 3rd day we wasn’t even walking and they were talking about discharging him!
We had been educated on what to expect, what to take, when to come back. I was handed a prescription for all the medications he would need from Anticoagulants to pain meds and then a script for a penis pump.
Wait, what?
A penis pump?
Ladies and gentleman here is the lowdown. The prostate controls nocturnal erections (those pesky erections a man gets all throughout the night while he is sleeping.) Without those erections and the consistent blood flow to the penile shaft the penis will begin to atrophy (shrink.) It is a muscle and like any unused muscle it will begin to wither away into smallpenisville due to lack of blood flow.
Now Richard would have a catheter for the first 2-3 weeks to give his body a chance to heal before attempting to let him urinate on his own but after this time, we would begin using the penis pump. (This will be a separate post)
We had a prescription for Cialis and Viagra to see which one worked the best for us. He was given the first Cialis in the hospital to facilitate possible blood flow to the penis.
Unable to walk Richard was wheeled to my car where they waved us goodbye, told us to make it home safely before the snow worsened, and slammed the car door shut. The snow worsened during our drive and we had to stop and pick up a wheelchair on the way home as we never anticipated him not being able to walk. We were told this was a side effect of the position he was in for surgery and that he would eventually regain a normal ambulatory status in time.
Fast forward 2 hours and we are safely at home and I have managed to get him in the house and into a recliner. Getting to the pharmacy was my goal, before they closed. The snow was getting worse quickly. The roads were closing and I had a 15 minute drive to CVS and had to go over a large bridge that would close shortly.
It was only 2 PM but everything was shutting down.
When I pulled into the parking lot I noticed only 1 truck in the lot. I went to the door which was locked. A man came to the door and told me they were closed due to the storm. I told him what had happened and he said he was sorry that he was the pharmacist and had no tech on staff. Dissolving to tears, (this seemed to be my normal reaction) I explained the surgery and that I had left him home alone and didn’t know if I could make it back before everything closed and he had to have his pain meds and blood thinner! I remember feeling so foolish as I stood standing in the blowing snow crying with a stranger watching me through fingerprinted glass.
This man turned into my hero. Not only did he open and get Richards medicines ready for me. He left with me and let me follow in his tracks (He had a large truck) all the way home which was out of his way!
Walking in to our home I was humbled. Here sat my husband sound asleep in his recliner, he had a catheter bag by his side, 3 drains hanging out from under his shirt, a pillow on his lap and he was asleep. He was broken but he was alive………
His Side: I have little recollection of these days and events other than pain. I have input on the next blog but this one is all hers.
How does one begin to process this? I feel quite confident that I probably did not process it correctly. The first morning after we had found out, driving on my way to work I remember driving to a cemetery, crying almost continually, my vision blurred.
A woman who had been a mother figure to me (my own mother hasnt spoken to me in almost 10 years) had passed away approximately 7 months prior to this. I called my job and told them I would be late and I drove to the cemetery to just sit. This is the only place that I felt I could find some comfort and I sat in my car and I cried for over an hour before I felt strong enough to be able to return to work.
I told my work family whenever I arrived why I was late and the news we had received. I remember functioning throughout the day then, would dissolve to tears the drop of a hat.
Richard and I spent the next couple of days doing a lot of talking, a lot of crying and had a lot of sex. I think both of us were terrified our sex life was over; I know I was.
We met with the urologist about four days after receiving the phone call.
I remember crying as I walked in the door; trying not to cry as we signed in. Sitting in the waiting room trying not to cry and failing miserably; crying as soon as we got back into his office as he spoke to us about what was transpiring, how the prostate Works, what it controls and what the options were. I remember looking at a picture of his wife on the wall behind his desk, staring at her face and trying not to cry.
As an R.N. I had already read as much as I could retain about prostate cancer and we already had a pretty good idea of what our options were and what we would want to do.
We discussed all the different implants for chemotherapy but really didn’t want a poison coursing through his body, if at all possible. Radiation was an option we seriously considered but when it was all said and done I wanted the cancer out of my husband’s body.
I knew all the possible side effects I understood he may never get erections that he might urinate himself all the time or just simply when he coughs, laughs, sneezes or when his bladder was full ( called stress incontinence.)
Our urologist assured us that because he was as young as he was, he would probably get a lot more function back than most older man who had a prostatectomy.
For me there was never an option.
I wanted the cancer gone. I love this man more than my own life and of course I wanted to have an amazing sex life with him; I was terrified to give up that part of our intimate life but as long as I had him and he was alive I was willing to take a chance.
I don’t honestly remember there being a ton of discussion after the doctor’s appointment. I don’t know if it’s because I wanted him to have his prostate removed so badly it was already decided in my mind or if we honestly just didn’t discuss it after that because we both had made this decision.
I just remember the decision being made to have the prostatectomy. The one thing I was most concerned about was whether or not our urologist would perform a bilateral nerve sparing procedure. I was devastated he may never feel an orgasm again!
We were willing to change urologist if this was something he was not willing to do, but he is the one who immediately suggested using the DaVinci robot to perform a bilateral nerve sparing procedure. In a nutshell, it’s where they peel all the nerves that control orgasms off from around the prostate; they remove the prostate and then they lay all these nerves back down on the pelvic floor. The hope is the man will still feel very strong orgasms during sexual arousal and intercourse. It is not always successful and sometimes they are only able to spare the nerves on one side which is called a unilateral nerve sparing procedure.
Sometimes none of the nerves are able to be spared or are accidentally cut during the procedure so you don’t really know what to expect.
The next step is cardiac clearance.
Because of the positioning the man has to take in the operating room to have a prostatectomy they have to make sure that your heart is strong enough to undergo this. We were sent to a Cardiologist where we quickly discovered that Richards heart was not strong enough for the surgery. We were then sent straight to a hospital. He needed to have a cardiac catheterization in order to go in and remove blockage and get his heart in Tip-Top shape for the procedure.
We were approximately one week prior to the scheduled prostatectomy at this point and my husband had been shaved from head to toe, had a large incision placed in his upper thigh. He had a catheter run up through the femoral artery into his heart so they could make his heart healthier for surgery. Now he had a pressure bandage on his upper thigh.
What never crossed either of our minds was the fact that with a pressure bandage and the risk of Bleeding Out he could not have sex and even if he could he really didn’t want to due to the pain in his leg.
As the last few days before his surgery came and went I feel like a part of me died.
There was nothing I wanted more then to engage in the intimate act of sexual intercourse, as many times as humanly possible in those last few days as we did not know what to expect afterwards. I wanted to have sex with my husband! I wanted to feel him inside of me and wanted to feel his orgasm and the semen.
He was unable to perform.
I was devastated, I was angry, I felt guilt because I was so angry at him. I worried because he didn’t feel like trying to have one last orgasm just in case he never had others.
I felt if he really loved me he would have pushed through the pain and taken a pain pill and made love to me anyway. As stupid as this is going to sound, knowing that my husband is never going to ejaculate again and was going to have dry orgasms, if he was even able to have an orgasm at all, felt like a small death to me.
I have always had an extremely high libido and I’ve always loved sex but when you meet your one true love everything falls into place, sex is amazing!
We may have been old, but we had intercourse on average of at least four times a week from the day we married. Now, even before the surgery, we weren’t having sex. I missed him already, I mourned him already and he still had his prostate!
The morning we were going to have his surgery I remember having such a mix of emotions that I could not process them all. I was terrified for him, I was angry at him, not only for having cancer but for robbing me of sex with him this last week prior to losing his prostate. I think I was staying mad at him, out of fear of losing him during the surgery. I stupidly thought that if I was already mad, if he died, It would hurt less.
I had fear that I was never going to have sex again and angry that I was so young I was having to give up my own sex life. In hindsight, the guilt that I had for even trying to selfishly turn any of these emotions towards myself is unacceptable. And having to apologize to him for being so angry was extremely difficult.
He had so many things he was battling all on his own knowing that I was angry with him as they wheeled him back to surgery had to have been a very dark place to be and I put that on him instead of accepting our Fate as it was.
I was hitting an already bruised Banana with a hammer.
As they wheeled my husband back for surgery he was smiling and flying high. The knot in the pit of my stomach felt like it was ripping through my abdomen.
I remember watching them push the gurney through some double doors and all I could see was the top of his head as he went to the doors feet first. He raised his hand up in the air and told all the staff members around him to turn back and look at me, “that beautiful woman is my wife I want to see her face as soon as I wake up, okay?” The nurse leading the pack smiled at him and assured him I would be there when he woke up. I did not know at the time that this was a lie….
I dissolved to tears in the middle of a surgical hallway.
His Side: FEAR, FEAR, FEAR, FEAR, FEAR, FEAR, FEAR.
Here were my thoughts and feelings:
I am going to die
My wife and son are going to be left alone
If I happen to survive my dick wont work and I will piss my pants all the time.
If I happen to survive I am no longer a man. My manhood will be gone. I had spent time over the last week crying alone, rejecting God, trying to hold my wife as she cried and assure her it would all be okay, even though I felt it was a lie. I had lied to myself and her so many times I was tired from the deceit. “We will be fine.” “I will be okay.” “We will figure it all out.” I didn’t believe any of my own words. Let’s get one thing straight, I never wanted the prostatectomy. SHE DID. I was having my manhood removed because this woman I loved wanted me to! I understood WHY she wanted it out but it was not a decision I would have made if she wasn’t in my life. I knew once it was gone there was no going back and I have never been so scared in my life. I have been in the military. I have been shot at, jumped from helicopters, parachuted from a plane. I had no fear compared to this fear. I was going to die. My doctor had explained options. There were numerous ones that interested me. She only wanted it out. Keep in mind I wouldn’t even be here if it weren’t for her. I wouldn’t have had a prostatectomy to begin with because I never would have had the biopsy and now would have been waiting for 3 months to redo the blood work. All I can remember during this time. Is the fear I felt and trying to stay strong for my wife and son. I remember having to tell my son that I had cancer and that I was fixing to have surgery I never told him what type of cancer I had as I didn’t want to create more questions that I might not have answers for, he was only 14. I remember as they wheeled me back for surgery having to let go of my wife’s hand as I now entered the only phase of this that I had to do completely alone; luckily the medication had kicked in and I actually felt pretty good. I had to remind the staff that I wanted to be looking at her face when I woke up which they assured me would happen….. it was a lie!
There are certain days in a human’s life that you will never forget; the day you meet your one true love, the day you get married, the birth of your children, the day a loved one dies and the day your doctor tells you that you have cancer.
I think it’s important to give you just a little back history on us, as a couple, before we delve into the nitty-gritty of the cancer.
Once upon a time, a man was simply existing in a loveless marriage. Meanwhile, halfway across the states, a woman was also simply existing in her loveless marriage. As fate would have it, the man and the woman ended up living in the same town when the woman moved back to her home state. Once they had each divorced they decided they could not live without their one true love and got married at the ripe old age of 40. Both the man and the woman felt like life had just begun. Very much in love, unable to keep their hands off of each other, and ready to start their new life in a love filled marriage, they began their fairy tale life together………
4 years later………
Her Side: Sometimes I think it was a Godsend and sometimes I think it was a curse. Richard had gone to have routine lab work drawn and someone accidentally checked the box for a PSA. Normally a 44 year old man doesn’t routinely have a PSA drawn. We thought when the results came back, that maybe his urologist had checked the box because of his history of low testosterone. Come to find out it was never meant to be checked at all. It was an accident.
Richard called me. It was the first week of February, 2015. I was at work at the time and as a Registered Nurse it was very unusual for him to call me at work this time of day.
His voice was different. I heard fear . As soon as I said hello, his normal response of, “hi baby how is your day going?” sounded strained. He simply told me that the Doc had accidentally drawn a PSA and it had come back slightly high for his age. He told me that he could either wait 3 months and redraw it or he could have a biopsy of his prostate. We discussed this when I got home that night and weighed our options.
I called the office the next day because as an RN my first thought was maybe they just need to recalibrate the machine. They informed me that they had recalibrated and run the test more than once prior to even calling us.
Richard and I made the decision to have the biopsy. The rationale was, if he did in fact have any cancer growing in his body, we wanted to make sure that it didn’t have an three extra months to grow. We wanted to go ahead and find out now.
Neither of us had a clue what was involved in a prostate biopsy. I personally thought they went through the perineum area or more thoughtfully referred to as the ‘TAINT’ with a needle and removed pieces that way. I had no idea what the procedure actually involved. I probably never would have asked my husband to go through it but in hindsight it was the only way for us to find out for sure if he was growing cancer.
The doctor had called in a prescription for one Percocet and one Valium to be taken one hour prior to arriving at his office. Richard took both of these and of course by the time we arrived was flying high and feeling great, not a care in the world. I, on the other hand was an absolute basket case.
My husband didn’t seem nervous and other than stating he felt a little scared he truly seemed okay.
I was not.
I helped him undress and get into a gown with nothing on underneath. I helped him get onto the table. The doctor pulled out stirrups (yes like in a gynecological exam) and explained to us that he was going to have to put his feet in stirrups. He was just to lay back and relax and let the drugs take effect.
At this point I was sent out of the room.
A kiss on the lips, a simple I love you and suddenly I’m in a waiting room leaving him alone for a good 45 minutes with just the doctor and a nurse. 21 small pinprick samples were taken from all around the Border of the prostate and in the middle. When they finally came to get me I entered the room and the look on Richards face was one of horror. He looked like he had truly been violated.
The nurse explained that he would be urinating blood for the next day or so and this was perfectly normal. They wanted to make sure he could pee before we left so he did pee large amounts of blood with some blood clots. This was a very frightening experience for a man. He looked at me as he urinated with a look of complete terror.
They gave me a prescription for a few more Percocet which I could get filled on the way home. When we got home, I gave him meds and put him to bed. He said his taint and rectum were sore but he was okay
For the next week he urinated blood, pooped blood, had pain in his entire nether-regions. At this point he said he wished he had NOT had the biopsy. He hurt. I hurt for him.
Our Anniversary is February 14 (yes cheesy I know) and we celebrated our 4 years together as usual but both of us had a little voice in the back of our head reminding us what had happened and that we still did not know the outcome.
2 days later, February 16 at about 8:00 PM the phone rang. Caller I.D. said it was our urologists home phone. My stomach sank.
Why would he call us himself from home at 8 at night?
Richard answered. I studied my husbands face. He looked dead in my eyes as he spoke to the doc never alluding to anything they were discussing. Simple “yes”, “no”, “okay”, “mm-hmm”. He never took his eyes off of me. I stood in front of him holding my breath and waited.
He hung up.
Then it happened.
“I have cancer.” His voice broke as the words came out.
I had no voice and dissolved to tears in his arms. Out of 21 samples the biopsy showed cancer in 19 of them.
I cried, he cried. We held each other and I think at this point just held on for dear life.
What came next????
His Side: Receiving a call from my urologist that my PSA was high scared me. I cant lie. As an ex-ARMY grunt, I am tough. I am a man. I try not to show weakness and I was scared. For some reason a voice in my head told me to worry. I have a great “sixth sense” and something told me this is not going to be good. I called Tracey and told her what the doctor had said. I needed to hear her voice and I tried to sound like it didn’t worry me but I felt I had failed.
After discussing it, we decided that a biopsy would be the best route. To be honest if I hadn’t been married to her I don’t know if I would have had the biopsy. If I had been single I would have waited the 3 months. Once I knew what was involved with this procedure, I wanted to back out. My wife wanted it. She needed to know. We were trotting along with a perfect life and she didn’t want to have this looming over us for the next 3 months so I caved. That’s the only reason I did it.
So, the drugs got called in, I popped them as prescribed and got high. She was worried I could tell, but I felt great! I dozed on and off on the way there with the occasional fear creeping in but then the high took back over. Tracey did most of the talking and I sat back and just road the buzz.
They placed me in a gown, then on the table; pulled out the stirrups.
STIRRUPS, like a girl uses at the girly doctor visit. He tried to explain why I had to use them but I didn’t comprehend it. They sent Tracey out and I suddenly felt nervous. She is my rock and I was suddenly afraid.
They tried to talk me through what was happening but all I remember is pain in my ass that would not let up for about 45 minutes. They used a speculum to open my butthole up and then went inside my butt with a long needle and stuck it into 21 different spots in the wall of my rectum. It was fire and pain and I would not wish this on my worst enemy.
I peed blood, passed blood clots, pooped clots for a good week. It was one of the most horrible experiences of my life!
We waited. It seemed like an eternity and I tried to pretend I wasn’t worried but I was. Again, I had a nagging voice in my head that said ‘be prepared.’
The call came right after my anniversary. It was February 16. When we saw that it was my urologist my heart stopped. All I could do was look at my wife and watch her eyes fill with tears as I stared at her hoping to find strength as I listened to this man tell me I had cancer. I was going to die.
That’s all I could think as I heard him explaining to me Gleason scales and where I was on it and when to come to his office to talk options. I watched my wife silently cry and thought ‘I am going to die.’ ‘My son will grow up fatherless and my wife will be a widow, I am going to die.’
We held each other, we cried. The fear was paralyzing and all I could remember was that my prostate controlled erections and urination and my life was over. I knew if I survived my penis might no longer work. This terrified the hell out of me..…..
In the 2½ weeks since I last posted quite a lot has has happened. On the positive side I had my first visit to the local day hospice as a day patient and it was really relaxing. While I was there they gave me a turbo bath. I can’t manage a bath at at home, I can only have a shower with assistance so getting a turbo bath was something I found soothing and good for my skin because I was able to add bath oil to help with the flaky dryness caused by the cancer and my drug cocktail. The group on the day I go is mixed and it felt upbeat, too, no downer moments. One guy brought wine to go with the terrific lunch they provided that he shared but, unfortunately, I had to decline for fear of throwing up or dropping off to sleep.
Let’s take care of the formalities right off the bat. We are not Physicians, we are not marriage counselors and we are not sex therapist. We are a married couple. That’s it. We are here simply to share our intimate Journey over the course of the last 4 years in overcoming the obstacles that come from a prostatectomy.
Men, every demon that you are battling, every thought you’re having about your loss of erection or possible incontinence, every fear of not being able to perform sexually; Richard has overcome. You are NOT alone!
Ladies/partners, all the fears you have over your partners diagnosis and looking at his mortality, the possible loss of your own sex life, the emotions and guilt that come in not knowing how to help him handle his diagnosis; Tracey has dealt with and overcome. YOU, his partner, are NOT alone!
YOU CAN AND WILL HAVE AN AMAZING SEX LIFE!!!!!
For now we will start at the beginning and just begin telling our story and if anyone wants to follow and/or decides to send questions here or via our email account, we will be more than glad to answer you honestly and openly. We will help you find a solution for whatever problem you may be dealing with…..
Our sincere hope is that through our own trial and errors as a couple, we may help you more quickly find a solution to the sexual problem, ego issues, guilt issues, male pride issues that you may be facing.
No subject is off the table and if you are wondering if it may work to use this (pumps, pills, shots, dildos, vibrators, c-rings etc)…..or take this (enhancement pills, herbs, beets juice, NOS, Rooster etc)…… we have probably tried it or are using it!
An intimate and honest look into one couples sex life after prostate cancer and robotic Prostatectomy. You CAN have amazing intercourse with no prostate!!!!!!
Richard and Tracey 